Saturday, August 20, 2011
“Tommy, where are you going?” she asked, terrified, while standing in the entrance to the kitchen.
“Oh,” he said, slightly shocked, “I’m just heading down to the store to grab some milk!”
“But,” she whimpered, “we already have milk…”
He mumbled, trying to think of something to say, “Yeah,” he began, uneasily, “but I noticed that it was going to go bad soon, so I wanted to go get some before that happened.”
“I just bought it yesterday…” she was horrified.
“Guess the store had a bad batch?” he reached, hoping she would take the bait.
“Then why wouldn’t you just tell me you were going?”
“It was just going to be a quick trip.”
She finally looked down. “Tommy,” she choked, as tears came to her eyes, “why do you have that bag?”
He looked down to the bag and then up at her. “I guess I can’t say that I was bringing the laundry to the laundromat, can I?”
She shook her head, as a single tear trickled down her cheek.
“Oh come on,” he began, “don’t do that now…”
“Why not?” she fought out, while touching her sleeve to her eye.
“Because I didn’t want it to be this way.”
“What you mean is that you didn’t want to face me!” she shot out with a little more confidence. “You would rather be a coward than face your problems?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean? You were leaving without as much as an explanation? Were you going to avoid my phone calls?” she wiped away more tears that were streaming down her face, ignoring her desire for them to stop.
He looked down at his feet. “No,” he sighed, “I blocked your number…”
She stopped in place with her mouth agape. She seemed to be in a mental struggle to find the right words to say. “You son of a bitch!”
“Come on,” he shouted out, on the defensive, “you can’t say that you didn’t see this coming!”
“To be honest, no, I didn’t!” she shouted back, louder now.
“We’ve barely spoken the last few weeks, and when was the last time you let me touch you in bed?”
“I’ve been sick…” she lied.
“Yeah, right. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but I’m through with it!” he screamed, losing all inhibitions. “You’re like a f**king roller coaster! One day you’re the perfect girlfriend, the next you seem as though the sight of me repulses you! And you’re one f**king clingy bitch regardless! I have to text you and call you every time I do anything! God forbid I do something and not let you know! And God forbid I have any fun without you!”
“You can do things without me!” she shouted back, taking a step towards him.
“Yeah?” he stood up tall with his arms out as he raised his eyebrows in shock. “Remember last week when I went bowling with the guys and you thought that I was cheating on you because I didn’t invite you?”
“That’s not true!”
“I saw you later that night smelling my closes when I came out of the bathroom after my shower!”
“I was just checking to see if they were dirty!”
“Bull s**t… They were already in the hamper.”
“Well…” she faded off.
“Yeah,” he nodded with a smirk, “exactly. You know you were looking for a trace of a perfume that wasn’t yours.”
“Is it my fault that I love you and worry?”
“You should f**king trust me if you love me so much! And if you really do love me, then maybe we should sleep together once and a while!”
“We do sleep together…”
“Don’t be stupid… you know what I mean…”
She whimpered again and seemed to shrink before him. In almost a whisper she mumbled, “But I do love you…”
“You’d never know it,” he replied, walking away from her, back towards his bag and the door. He stopped though a few steps before it and turned around. “You know, I did love you once. You know that.”
“And now?” she barely whispered.
“Now?” He looked away from her and she like out a small squeal as tears rolled down her face.
Out of instinct, he moved to comfort her, but pulled his arms back to his side and shook his head slightly.
“I slept with another woman,” he finally admitted.
She seemed to crumple like a wet towel to the ground.
“Tammy, from the office,” he said, feeling ashamed. He then shook his head quickly, “No!” he shouted. “I don’t feel bad about it. Tammy doesn’t mean anything to me,” he blurted out, “but I needed some sort of physical attention. I needed to feel like I existed! Living with you is like living alone, but with the feeling of constant guilt, regardless of whether you did anything thing or not! I was a perfect boyfriend! Face it!”
“You slept with another woman!” she screamed, looking up at him from the ground. Her face was bright red and covered in tears and running mascara.
“Yes, I did,” he stated, very confidently. “And that is why I’m leaving. Not because I feel guilty for having done it, but because after sleeping with her yesterday, I realized just how trapped I’ve allowed myself to get!” he gestured his frustration with his hands. “I’m 27, and yet, I feel like I’m in a troubled marriage! There’s nothing holding me here! We have no kids, f**k!, we don’t even have a dog because you won’t let me get one! You make me feel insignificant. You make me feel like an accessory to use when you need me.”
“That’s not true…” she whimpered, shying away.
“It is, and when I’m gone, you’ll realize that’s all I ever was to you. You needed someone to make you look better, and that was me.” He walked to the door, picked up his bag, and before slamming the door, he turned and looked down at her, shaking his head. “You’re pathetic, and I’m ready to be happy again,” and he slammed the door.